Wednesday, July 16, 2008

There are things I can't tell you.

Not in these spaces that are alloted so meticulously. There are rules here, sharp lines that give me papercuts when I try to tread them. No, not here where emotion is forbidden. We cannot afford it, the poor man's bread. You work as a puzzle, some pieces fit and some don't. This square world is a misfit for us.

There are things you won't tell me, I would love to think that you have reasons at all. We live in such a short world that the edge finds us faster than we can blink. I cannot live in a world that runs on geometry. I cannot calculate word limits and boundaries for the heart when we talk. Really. It tires me.

But as history goes (and in the honour of history wanting to repeat itself), I understand when you run far from saying what you really want to. But you need to understand too, I'm not going to stick around for words that I have to dig out, words that I have to beg and plead to hear, words that I have to dream about and forget because you will never find the courage to say them. I'm not going to stick around for mediocrity. I want the complete turmoil of knowing someone. Not like this. Not controlled language and legalized pieces.

So one day, when you find the courage to get over yourself, I hope we can know each other again the way we used to. Probably then, I'll tell you all the things I can't tell you now.

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