Wednesday, September 3, 2008

My parents told me the most bizzare lies when I was young.

One of them was the story of perseverance. Mom always told me that if you tried hard enough to attain something, you would get it. Well, first she told me that if I wanted it from the bottom of my heart, I would get it. Through time and a lot of whiplashes, I figured that really wasn't the case. Hence, I moved on to step two.

Work hard and you'll get what you want.

Through time and a lot more whiplashes(painful ones), I learnt that true wisdom lies not in blindly ploughing and hoping it will happen, but to have the humility to accept that sometimes, it won't. You can be smart or handsome and sometimes both and yet, it won't work out. Yea, you. That's right. Now the humility part.

That's the bitch.

Alright I might have a problem accepting some things might not work out. But the pursuit is so (bitter)sweet that I cannot help but stay addicted. Soon the object of pursuit becomes nothing more than a reason for the pursuit, the pursuit becoming that bad nicotine habit. I liked it. I was a dog chasing my tail because it was better than sleeping in the sun for the rest of the day.

Now I seem to be moving on from the spot where circles are fun. Circles can get to you after a point of time. A room without corners is for the insanely numb. I need corners, they are comforting spaces. They are excuses for things you can't let go anyway. A constant loop is the gateway to madness. Really.

And I'm trying to break it, even though the road beyond it may be lonely. There are things you do that you can never explain, but the head knows the reason and soon enough, your body accepts.

I need to ask my Mom if there was a step three to any of it at all.

Or is it step six?

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